Sniffle. Sniffle.
I am currently sick for the 1544855 time this school year. My nose feels like it’s about to explode. Ew.
Fortunately, I am extremely lucky to have a family willing to feed me instant noodles while I cough all over them which inevitably will get to my dad’s horribly week immune system. Also, I have a best friend who is willing to do whatever he can to make me feel better since he is a lucky butt who NEVER gets sick.
However, as of the case of Connie and the pregnant Rose of Sharon in Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck, not all married couples would follow their vows of marriage like “in sickness and in health”. Connie left Rose of Sharon with his unborn child after he could not cope with the responsibilities of taking care of her. I feel that many couples nowadays do not take marriage as seriously as they used to.
Around 40%-50% of all first marriages and 60% of second marriages will end in divorce. That is lot of divorce papers. To take that into perspective, if you put 1000 people in a room, around 400-500 of them will become divorced at least once. THAT’S IS LIKE ONE WHOLE GRADE LEVEL IN A SCHOOL.
Marriage is a commitment to one person and one person only. Sometimes, I feel angry that some of the most influential people like John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. in the world committed numerous affairs. These two specific people are ones that I have admired for years, but the affairs are the among the acts of sin that makes me want to rip a person apart. The confusion inside of me is great, because I have always looked at people who have affairs as weak. Too weak to face their own personal problems with their marriage only to escape to someone else. However, these two men are NOT weak, at least in the public sense.
Putting my anger aside, I will now go back to moping around while destroying this box of tissues. At least, I still have my best friend who is trying to make me as happy as possible while this virus is trying to eat my soul.
I’m going to be honest: This month sucked A LOT. I got dropped from the varsity basketball team without a legitimate reason (at least none given to me), dropped my phone causing it to shatter, let my grades suffer, did nothing but watch anime and eat more, and overall just lost confidence in myself. I’m trying to fix that.
I keep going because life isn’t going to slow down for me even if I want it to. I’m not too sure how healthy this is for my health, but oh wells. I know I don’t have it as bad as a lot of people. Things could always be worse. But as I am typing this and two loud relatives who don’t know how to speak in indoor voices are conversing in a language I can only somewhat understand, I really don’t care anymore. I am just tired of math, English, Spanish, biology, U.S. history, and I am done with the loud noises, nuisances, and people who don’t see beyond the world of themselves. Maybe I am a hypocrite, because I am one of them and that makes me feel more sick.
Story of my life.
Anyhow, I didn’t mean to have my emotions explode on my blog. I had an idea of what to blog about that might actually be related to something in English class for once. The idea of “missing something” or not being “whole”. This idea flew to me from Mexico, where a friend of mine was staying for his spring break. Now, who is whole?
Definitely not anyone in The Great Gatsby, that’s for sure. Jay Gatsby, the man who’s existence was created by a poor James Gatz, in attempt to pluck a pretty Daisy from the firm hands of Tom Buchanan, the polo player. The latter two were no better. Tom is quick to go from one mistress to another, and completely ignore his wife unless another man looks at her. Daisy can be described as a “beautiful fool”. All she wants is to be looked at and loved, regardless of who it is, whether its Tom, Gatsby, or even Nick (just my reader-ly speculation). The one character I had SOME faith in, Ms. Jordan Baker, disappointed me. Jordan dismissed Nick because of one bad night and a phone call, only to already be engaged when he meets up with her again not too long afterwards. All of this seems outlandish to me, but for some it is the truth. Gatsby lost himself in the past. Daisy is empty and seeks someone to pay attention to her and make her feel whole. Tom lacks basic human understandings and the ability to realize that the world does not revolve around him. And Jordan? I cannot even put it to words. Something about her, especially at the end, just felt wrong. I hope to be able to give a better explanation than that in the near future.
In the Grapes of Wrath, there are also people who are missing something. Generally those people are the owners or bank workers. They gave up their “humanity” and only focus on wealth. Love is replaced by technology, and the farmers who keep their humanity, lose their homes and farms. At least that is what I noticed in the reading so far.
So back to the question: Who is whole? I really don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that it’s not me.
Because I don’t know, I’ll ask you all this: What does it mean to you to be ‘whole’ and with that, are you whole?
Princess and Kitten 